Powerful Coaching Questions to Guide You to Success
“Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat.” - F. Scott Fitzgerald.
HERE’S TO YOUR SUCCESS - SELF COACHING
Have you ever been in a difficult situation or had to make a tough decision and you just wanted someone to give you the answer? We all have had the “I wish I had a crystal ball to see into the future” moments. The truth is … the answer comes to us in diverse ways. Getting counsel from a supportive friend(s), counseling, hiring a life coach, and by asking yourself some “self-coaching ” questions.
So, let’s go down the life-coach path. If you are not at a place in life to hire a life coach (fun fact: most life coaches hire a life coach for themselves), you can still use some of the tools I use to help my clients. In fact, you may already be familiar with them. Here is a “life coach” secret: ask questions. Here are some powerful “coach” questions to help you get unstuck, unpack a difficult, define clarity around your next step, and more.
In fact, you can interchangeably use these self-coaching questions for most situations (I have some situations listed below.) The goal is for you to get to the answer or “aha” moments and not rely on anyone to provide the answer for you. Believe it or not, you have been self-coaching for years….anytime you were pondering what, when, where, why, and how….you were self-coaching.
What is self-coaching? Self-coaching is the process where you are guiding your personal and/or professional growth and development during different seasons or chapters of your life. Self-coaching provides you with the mental exercise of self-reflecting on today, tomorrow, and your future.
“Nothing happens until you decide.” - Oprah Winfrey.
MEMORIES - You can use your memories or history to self-coach you today! Do you remember a time when you felt like this football player in this picture? You may have felt this when you got your first “big” job, when you received your promotion, said “I do,” first home, or when you were at a good place in your life. Those great memories and the feelings that come with them are priceless when we are in those current seasons of the unknown.
I want to challenge you today to “self-coach” yourself with your memories. Write down the memories that stir up positive emotions (they put a smile on your face) in your life. Then, write the feelings with it. When the tough seasons come, you can go back and resurrect those memories and feelings and use them as a tool to motivate you to do one more! If you did it then, you can do it again. If you overcame something in the past or found the answer you needed that brought success, use that to keep moving ahead and believing in yourself. This is just one tool a life coach uses to help people get unstuck or to motivate them to keep moving forward.
Coach Yourself Out of the Boat
Is it hard to get out of your comfort zone? I know I struggled with that for years. How can we learn to push through the fears of the unknown that keep us in our comfort zone? How can we make the necessary decision(s) or action step(s) to get unstuck in our comfort zone and move? Have you ever admired someone who took a chance? Have you ever admired someone who did something you wish you had done? The good news is that it is not too late to GET OUT OF THE BOAT.
Self-Coaching Questions:
What am I feeling right now about where I am in life and why?
What would it look like if I stepped into the unknown or my fear(s)?
When I get out of the boat, (my comfort zone) what do I see, and feel from the good that comes from it? (focus here)
Coach Yourself to Being UNSTUCK
We all have been there…you feel like you are not moving forward. Why? In most cases, it is because we are not making the decisions or taking action that has to happen in order for us to move forward…personally or professionally. “My boss is holding me back!” “My family doesn’t want me to move!” “My friends don’t support me moving in this new direction.” These statements may all be true, but are you going to let them control you and keep you stuck? Is fear keeping you stuck? What’s the worst that could happen? What’s the best that can happen?
Self-Coaching Questions:
Why do I feel stuck (write everything down….do a brain dump)?
Start weeding out your list. Look at your list and write T or F (true or false) by each one. Is the statement true (T) or a self-limiting belief (F)?
Evaluate. Which T’s can you start working on? Next to the F’s, write one opposite-positive statement next to it.
Make an action step on the top 3 to get unstuck.
Coach Yourself to Enjoy the Journey of Life
Did you know you can “coach” yourself to enjoy the journey? And you should! Through the highs/lows, challenges, and unexpected life moments… you can find a way to enjoy the process journey and make it priceless!
Self-Coaching Questions:
Am I good about “enjoying the journey” or not? Why?
What scares, excites, or concerns me about this phase of the journey and why?
What can I do today to be deliberate about “enjoying the journey or journeys” in my life?”
Keep a list of the lessons learned on your journey…another way to create those memories to lean on in the future.
"Don’t let the negativity given to you by the world disempower you. Instead, give to yourself that which empowers you." - Les Brown.
THIS I KNOW…… self-coaching is like putting the mask on yourself first. It gives you permission to self-reflect on where you are at, evaluate opportunities and do what you want. You have been self-coaching all of your life….but now you have the questions to ask yourself to laser in on specific areas and on you. We pour ourselves into our jobs, family, and other relationships, but don’t always take the beneficial time to allow ourselves the same grace to rest, grow and develop.
Next week, we will explore more about using powerful questions to self-coach yourself when pivoting life transitions, trusting the process, and mid-life pivoting.
Now go and self-coach!
“I believe that the most important single thing, beyond discipline and creativity, is daring to dare.” - Maya Angelou.
