Building A Resilient Life To Power Through
“No one's life is a smooth sail; we all come into stormy weather. But it's this adversity – and more specifically our resilience – that makes us strong and successful.” — Tony Robbins
Have you ever seen a plant or a weed grow out of a crack in the sidewalk or a tree growing out from the side of a cliff as seen in this picture. Resilient!
RESILIENT ….what word picture do you have in your mind when you think of the word resilient or resiliency? Do you think of a brick wall, strong and unbreakable? Or do you think of an object being flexible and elastic to move within its environment? Be encouraged … you can develop resilience within you just like you can build a muscle within your body.
As much as resilience involves “bouncing back” from these difficult experiences, it can also involve profound personal growth. Like building a muscle, increasing your resilience takes time and intentionality. I don't think it is necessarily how fast you overcome a resilient moment, but who you become AFTER you overcome. Did you grow through it? How are you showing up NOW in your space? What is the fruit you see in your life today because of your resiliency?
What is Resilience?
So, let’s put a definition to the word resilient: elastic, flexible, able to endure strain without being permanently injured.... recover when pressure is removed. Ability to recover readily from adversity; buoyancy.
If you got to this part of the blog and you are saying, “I am not that resilient,” I want you to know that is okay. We all are on the path of improvement…no matter who you are. Life did not come with a personalized road map for each of us…yes there are a ton of books on making right choices, how to make decisions, etc., but I did not get a map for Stephanie Ritter Maat on how to walk out my life.
So, because of that, you will experience the twist and turns, triumphs and tragedy, love and the loss of a loved one, prosperity, joy, tears, rejection or a serious illness. Each event affects us differently, bringing with it a flood of thoughts, fears, strong emotions, and possibly doubts. By developing a resilient mindset, you WILL adapt over time to these life-changing and stressful events. Sometimes we need to thank the hard times because the hard times developed this muscle of resilience within us.
Why Embrace Resilience?
The only way to avoid this is to live a meager existence, never trying anything new or taking a risk. Few of us want a life like that!
Instead, we should have the courage to go after our dreams, despite the very real risk that we'll fail in some way or another. Being resilient means that when we do face those mistakes or failures, we bounce back, we have the strength to learn the lessons we need to learn, and we can move on to bigger and better things.
Overall, resilience gives us the power to overcome setbacks, so that we can live the life we've always imagined.
It's human nature to resist change--particularly when it comes in the form of adversity or challenges. But change is inevitable and developing the trait and habit of resilience helps us not only survive change, but to learn, grow, and thrive through it.
Resilience Is Not…
A Failure Mindset / Building A Brick Wall (nothing gets in and nothing gets out) / Never Getting Out of the Boat / Letting Fear Grip Us / Avoiding Life’s Pain and Difficulties
Stepping Stones For Resilience
Anchor Thought - Create an anchor thought that you can hold onto when times are tough. It “anchors” you to keep moving forward. If you want to lose weight, have a thought of your reward when you meet your goal.
Make A Backwards Plan - Where do you want to be at the end of this leg of the journey….then back into it with your plan. When you begin with the end in mind, you gain clarity, which will naturally help you become more efficient and build resilience. You can plan and strategize the best route to your goals.
Silence Negative Voices - Put an end to those negative thought cycles, which have become well-worn pathways in our brains. It is time we short-circuit those thoughts. Stop them as quickly as possible.
Overcome Your Fear - Many of us avoid failure at all costs. By treating failure like a disease to be avoided, we never give ourselves a chance to overcome challenges and practice resilience. Ultimately, we prevent ourselves from becoming more resilient.
Pull The Veil Back - What Is On The Other Side? Imagine what your life will be like five years after this event. What will you be doing? How will you be spending your time?
Be Like an Archer - use those challenges, uncertainty, mistakes to pull you back like an arrow is pulled back and let them propel you forward. Resiliency will propel you.
Visualize - Shift your mindset and build those muscles of resilience by seeing yourself accomplishing what you see in your tomorrow (new job, family, starting a business, becoming a missionary, buying a home, retiring, etc.).
Rearview Mirror Is Smaller Than The Windshield - Forward thinking is something we preach about all of the time (looking out the front of the windshield). However, you can use the rearview mirror for key times to review lessons learned, mistakes overcome, victories, “If I made it through that, I can make it through this.”
How Would You Encourage Your Best Friend? Whatever you would say to your best friend to encourage them to not give up and be resilient and then speak the same thing to yourself… OUTLOUD!
What Is The Lesson? What is the situation (negative or positive) trying to teach you? Embrace it and watch your resilience grow. Be attentive and see if your negative emotions are leading you in a positive direction. Then decide ... will you follow?
Pick Yourself Up As Many Times As It Takes -Resilient people understand that failure is not falling down, but refusing to get up. They have the capacity to adapt successfully and create the tenacity to never, ever quit.
Rejoice In The Small Wins - Everything matters when building the muscle of resilience. Every step, every win, every lesson learned, and every step taken. Resilient people believe in themselves, work hard and take joy in the small wins that give them strength.
