What Mask Are You Wearing?
“Be yourself, everyone else is taken. In order to be oneself, one has to take risks, to accept that one is not perfect and to be courageous enough to say what one really thinks” Oscar Wilde
THE MASK
Do you or your neighborhood celebrate Halloween? When I think of Halloween I think of tons of candy, costumes, and MASKS. Putting on those holiday MASKS and disguises can be fun! Most of us have happy childhood memories of dressing up for Halloween. Speaking of masks, have you ever had someone ask you “how are you doing” and you say “I’m fine” even though your world may be falling apart around you? We all have done that! Our church greeters always asked that question when they greeted you at the door. I always gave the same generic answer “I’m good and you?” I never told them how I was truly feeling, nor would they want me to. For me, that was not the time to be vulnerable and I am okay with that as they were, too.
The MASK. I have worn it and you have worn it. For me, it is still tempting to put on a MASK each day. A MASK to hide my insecurities, fear, anxiousness, self-limiting beliefs, or doubt. Sometimes we need to wear a MASK because of the timing of when we want to share what is going on in our life and whom to share it with (a counselor, good friend). I get it. The concern is when we keep it on for so long that we are not being true to ourselves or our loved ones. We start to believe we are the MASK we are wearing.
🙌🏽When you ask others how they are doing, ask them how they are REALLY doing and provide a safe space for them so that they can take off the MASK and share. Whatever they share, don’t feel like you have to have an answer or resolution for them, just listen.
❓How can you create a safe place for YOU so that you can start taking off the MASK?
EXPLORING THE MASK
I want to encourage you (and me) to explore the “WHY” behind our MASK(s).
It may seem hard to believe, but there really is only ONE YOU. I wonder if that is a hard concept because we are used to being in groups and lumped together for so much of our lives (our school years and work years). It can be hard to stand out and discover our uniqueness. Enter the MASK. The MASK may have been helpful in the beginning because it protected you while you stumbled, fumbled, and discovered YOU. How long has it been on? Is the old MASK now taped together? Is it showing a lot of wear and tear?
So let’s start exploring the MASK. Start by asking yourself some questions: “Why do I put on this particular MASK?” “What would happen if I took off this MASK?” “How is this MASK hindering me from growing and becoming the person I am meant to be?” Now you are in a great place to discover the person behind the MASK. You may find it life-changing and liberating. It’s a process so give yourself grace!
ACTION PLAN: Take some time today to think about the uniqueness of YOU. What did you learn?
BECOMING THE AUTHENTIC YOU
Believe it or not, when we put on the MASK, and hide our feelings it can be freeing for a period of time. And as we have shared above, it can then become a stumbling block and it becomes time to take off the MASK.
It is easy to put on the MASK each day without even thinking about it. It becomes a habit and then a lifestyle. It provides temporary relief for many personal reasons and then becomes our false identity. We then start to suppress our own thoughts and actions. Some MASKS may seem like your friend while other MASKS may feel painful. Other MASKS may feel forced upon us so we can get along in life, and others we wear voluntarily because we are afraid to remove it.
Staying masked means missing an opportunity to face reality and make those positive changes to become the ONE and ONLY YOU.
Take a break from yourself. As you explore your MASK and remove it, give yourself grace and time. You don’t have to have it all figured out right away…take a needed break when it becomes too much.
Take the MASK off when you feel safe. Wearing a MASK can be exhausting. When you are around those who create a safe environment for you, remove the MASK. Be the authentic you and then over time, you can bring the authentic you (without the MASK) into the other areas of your life. You might say “What if they don’t like me?” I say “WHAT IF THEY DO!!!”
Take time today to explore any MASK you have on or want to put on and ask yourself “why do I put this MASK on” and discover the UNIQUE YOU.
THIS I KNOW…to MASK or not to MASK….that is the question before us each day. Who do you want to be? It is up to us to stretch ourselves out of our comfort zone. Yes, I agree that there may be times you need a counselor or therapist to walk with you on this path…I have been there. If that is you, then do it. Partner with them to help you see that you don’t need your MASK(s) anymore and encourage you to step into the authentic you.
It is up to us to be the person we desire. No one can do that for us, which is a good thing. We choose the MASK or choose not to wear a MASK. Unfortunately, no one is going to walk up to us and remove our MASK(s). We do this and the good news is that we have all kinds of tools and resources to help us remove the MASK.
My Courageous Friend, you are a beautiful soul without your MASK ❤️
