“I Did Not See That Coming”
“We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” Joseph Campbell
Have you ever said, “I didn’t see that coming?” Perhaps it was an unexpected job promotion, a raise or you met someone incredibly special. “I did not see that coming” can be a wonderful thing in our lives. Isn’t it wonderful when life has those upbeat, surprising moments that take your breath away?
What do you do when the opposite of “I did not see that coming” happens in your life? Have you ever had a good friend or loved one suddenly walk out of your life? Perhaps you were served divorce papers or lost a loved one to an illness. Maybe your own health has let you down. You may have found yourself saying, “I did not see that coming.” “Life has not turned out the way I had planned.” “Life has not been ‘happily ever after.”
Have you ever caught yourself saying, “life isn’t fair?” You are right! So, the better you are with navigating the unexpected changes and challenges, the better you will be at turning the negative side of “I did not see that coming” to “wow, here is an opportunity to grow and learn!”
We need to be open to peeling the layers back of disappointment, hurt, etc., to see what “treasures of darkness” are in those moments just waiting for us to discover. It took me some time, but I realized that through the losses, discouragements, betrayals, etc., I had expectations that were not healthy and instead of helping me, they were hurting me. We cannot predict the future, which is why expectations must be in balance so that you don’t get discouraged. Live your life with the best of intentions.
“Your disappointment might be the best thing that has ever happened to you. It opens the door to opportunities for healing our past issues, changing how we’re living now, and creating a future based on who we are — not who we expected to be.”—Christine Hassler, author Expectation Hangover: Overcoming Disappointment in Work, Love and Life.
REFRAME “I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING”
Take Time to Step Back – Step back and put it all into perspective. We don’t have control over the decisions of others and how it impacts us. Reframe it: Their actions towards you were never about you. Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Heart Surgery – Take the time to reflect on yourself. What can you learn during this time about you? What can you learn about others? What can you learn about life? With an open heart and mind you can truly let new experiences into your life. Reframe it: You ever know what blessings may come your way and that’s the beauty of it.
Timing Is Everything – I genuinely believe that timing plays a huge role in our life. Sometimes we are on the right path, in the right direction, but it seems long and cumbersome. It feels like nothing new is happening. Reframe it: Perhaps the timing is a little further down the road, so don’t panic and think you messed up or missed something.
Keep Growing - Joel Osteen said “We don’t spend our lives on the mountain tops, we spend most of our time in the valley or at the bottom of the mountain top.” That is not negative, but reality. Reframe it: Mountain tops are great, and we need them, but you must keep moving and don’t settle.
Give – when we give (time, money, volunteer) we are focusing on others or the community needs. When we give of our time, we not only help others realize we care and they matter, but we also walk away feeling fulfilled knowing we made a difference. Reframe it: Share with others.
THOSE WHO DID NOT SEE IT COMING (AND REFRAMED IT)
Jamie Kern Lima: Founder of IT cosmetics and a #1 book “Believe It: How to Go from Underestimated to Unstoppable.” It wasn’t long ago when she was seeking investors for her new makeup line that she kept hearing the word NO. “We are going to pass on investing in your company. If you want the truth, I’m just not sure women will buy makeup from someone who looks like you.”
Michael Jordan: Cut him from his high school basketball team. Six Championships and five MVPs. “I have missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I have lost almost 300 games. On 26 occasions I have been entrusted to take the game winning shot, and I missed. I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”
Bethany Hamilton: Started surfing as a child. At age 13, an almost-deadly shark attack resulted in her losing her left arm. She was back on her surfboard one month later, and two years after that, she won first place in the Explorer Women’s Division of the NSSA National Championships. She is a champion surfer, author, wife and mother of 3.
Sara Blakely: With little money to invest in her idea, Sara Blakely, the future founder of Spanx, faced rejection after rejection from investors when launching her brand. It wasn’t until Oprah Winfrey publicly acknowledged her business idea that her company got off the ground.
My friend, this much I know…if you will take the time to reframe your “I did not see that coming” you will see how life is directing your footsteps onto a new path full of opportunities, adventure, blessings, challenges and personal success that you otherwise may not have discovered.