When Life Doesn’t Turn Out As Planned…Or Did It?
“We must be willing to let go of the life we planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.” – Joseph Campbell
This Is My Life?
Have you ever heard yourself say or think “my life has not turned out the way I thought it would?” I have been there many times over the years, and I have learned to restate that statement to “what if I am exactly where I need to be?” It is true, life doesn’t always turn out the way we expected. We all have been there in some way: loss of job, health crisis, divorce, loss of a loved one, financial challenges, etc. Remember when you were young you were asked “what do you want to do or be when you get older?” A loaded question, but it had the potential to get you to think outside of the box and expand your world.
Today you may or may not be on that path from your youth, and that is okay, but are you okay with it? Life changes, people change … change is constant! However, you can develop the tools you need to make the most of whatever comes your way.
Here are a few ways to re-think your current life status:
*Go back to the basics. Re-explore your child-like faith, and ask “what would the younger version of me say about my current situation?”
* What resources (people or material) are already around you to help you move forward?
*Why Do You Think Life Is Not Working For You? Take time to unpack this question. You know YOU better than anyone else…give yourself grace.
“I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.”
Life Is Not Happening To You - But For You
Think about it, if we knew ahead of time every step planned out for our lives, we would not want to move forward in many situations. Why? How many would walk into foreseen pain that is down the road, rejection, disappointment, betrayal, the loss of a loved one, divorce, or loss of a job? On the flip side, because you faced those challenging times, and you pushed through to your breakthrough, you found out how much stronger you are. I have seen that played out many times in my life. The journey was hard, but I came out stronger. You may not feel strong and wise now, but over time you will realize you can handle whatever life throws your way. In fact, sometimes we push through to the other side so well, we have a mindset to challenge life and say “give me your best shot” or “challenge accepted.” You become unstuck because you are not afraid to make those complex decisions, even when you don’t know the next step.
Change your mindset that life is not happening to you, but for you. It will challenge those self-limiting beliefs that have been holding you back. My self-limiting beliefs held me back for years because I truly did not know that was my mindset…I did not know the power of a growth mindset.
I love what Sydney Poitier said, “Along the way, I have accumulated no words of wisdom; and have, therefore, arrived with no message of importance. But I will leave you with a simple observation: The rewards were in the journey and there were many.”
How do you live the “unexpected” life? Can we change our mindset so that we, too, can see the many rewards that are in the journey? As much as we plan, there will be seasons that are unexpected… but that doesn’t mean you did something wrong? Let’s go back to about two years ago when COVID-19 showed up. Everyone was impacted by it…life became unexpected overnight. Businesses sent staff home to work, students went from the classroom to online, parents had to juggle work and become the daycare, restaurants had to produce a new way to serve, and speakers had to pivot from the stage to Zoom.
WHEN YOU FEEL DISCOURAGED ABOUT YOUR LIFE
1. Find Contentment In Your Present Circumstances – We were never promised that life would be easy and trouble-free…choose to find peace and joy in each day.
2. Embrace New Opportunities – Look around you and find new opportunities that have been given to you.
3. Could This Unexpected Path Help You Fulfill Your Purpose? – Have you ever had your GPS re-route you due to construction or a traffic jam? Embrace your life situations being re-routed.
4. Do What You Can Do Today – Don’t wait for someone to prod you along….just do it. Don’t wait for someone else to do what you are supposed to do.
5. WHAT IF – Two of my favorite words. These two words have changed my mindset. When I feel like life is not turning out as I thought, I immediately tell myself, “What if I am exactly where I need to be today?” “What if I am right on time?”
6. WHY – Why is this happening? Why is my life turning out this way? There is nothing wrong with asking “WHY,” but be wise. Staying in that mindset can lead you to feel confused, angry, disappointed, and want to give up. If you don’t receive a quick answer to your “why,” then move on.
Life Can Be Your Best Teacher
You are the main player in your life. You are the one who makes your life meaningful and purposeful. So when your life doesn’t appear to be going as planned, change the narrative, change your perspective and keep reaching for your goals.
Life can be your best teacher. Your disappointment might be the best thing that has ever happened to you. When your life doesn’t unfold as you had planned, stay open because it can be a setup for your best moments. It may be an opportunity for you to address issues from your past, move in a new direction, create financial freedom, etc. So now you can create a future based on the authentic you….not who you are expecting yourself to be.
Relax. You have not missed it. It’s not too late. Your ship has not sailed. Life will always be there waiting for you to step into it. Do you dare to believe it?
I “GOT” To or I “GET” To
I heard Steve Harvey say that when we get up each day we should not say “I’ve GOT to do….” but instead say “I GET to do….” Changing the narrative changes your life and your perception. If you start your day with “I GOT to go to work” and you don’t like your job, your stress level goes up and your perception of where you are at in your life gets distorted. However, if you say, “I GET to go to a job” you allow gratitude to flow and you appreciate those things in your life, even if you are not exactly where you want to be. Check out his YouTube video on this topic.
So, the next time you are tempted to say, “my life has not turned out the way I thought” what will you do with that mindset?
