The Blessings of Friendships
"I would rather walk with a friend in the dark, than alone in the light." Helen Keller
When you think of friendships, what comes to mind for you? Do you feel joy rise up inside, sadness, hurt, rejection, hope, respect, harmony or trust? Do you immediately think of those friends, male or female, that touched your life? Do you wonder how you impacted their life? Take time to take an inventory….everything that crosses our path has purpose (even if we don’t know it at the time).
Did you know studies show most adults have only one or two close friends beyond their significant others? For many, the top of our life priority list might look something like this: family, work—maybe exercise. Time with friends can sometimes end up near the bottom.
Honestly, I have always admired the long friendship and relationship between Gayle King and Oprah Winfrey. I believe you can have a friendship or friendships like that. Friendships change and evolve over time. Some stay together through those evolutions and others move on. Is it all bad? I try to look back and ask myself what was the good that came from the friendship, how did I grow from it and what value did I bring to it?
CHEERS TO FRIENDS!!
If I offered you a pill to live longer and have a more fulfilling life, would you take it? Believe it or not, friendships can extend life expectancy! Friendships ignite the part of the brain that makes you feel good, which makes you want to keep hanging out with your friends.
Friendships Are Good For Your Health - It turns out that healthy relationships actually contribute to good physical health. A close circle of friends can decrease your risk of health problems: diabetes, heart attack, and stroke. It can decrease feelings of loneliness, which evidence shows can take a toll on your longevity.
Friendships Create Healthy Choices – Friendships can encourage you to make lifestyle changes which overall effect your well-being. For example, eating better and exercising together. Friendships can help you set and maintain goals. They can support you in choosing healthy relationships.
Friendships Add Variety – My personality is one to organize and plan everything. So I have learned to welcome those friends that are spontaneous, free spirit…those opposite of me. I have learned so much about me and about life by having a variety of friends.
Friendships Are Confidence Builders – we all need someone to say “I believe in you,” “You can do this.” Friendships provide the confidence you need during those difficult times or encourage you to take that risk. If you are feeling low, encourage one of your friends…you will be amazed at how pouring into them will overflow onto you.
Friendships Point You To Your Future– each friendship, whether for a reason, season or lifetime are a link to something in your future.
So, what kind of friend are you? Take inventory of the gifts and talents you bring. Are you open to different kinds of friendships? Do you want them to bring value, and their gifts and talents to you?
REASON, SEASON AND LIFETIME
REASON - friends who come along side of you to support you when you are experiencing a life transition. The other person may be on the same path and are experiencing the same changes as you. Let’s say you meet someone in a weight loss group. You support each other and encourage each other on this weight loss journey. Then, they move on.
SEASON - friends who are in your life for a period of time to teach or share lessons with you or help you discover something about yourself (and vice versa). I feel this season can last a short amount of time or longer. You may have experienced this with high school or college years. You were together for a season. Perhaps you are a new mom, and you join a “new moms’ group” to join others on this journey.
LIFETIME - these relationships are just that…lifetime. They teach us lifetime lessons—things you can build upon to have a solid foundation. These friendships love and accept you for all that you are and are not, they walk your journey with you no matter what it looks like. Some people have lifetime friendships and connect frequently while others connect a few times a year.
Today, you may have friendships in all of these categories…and I hope you do! Look at the beauty they bring to you and what you bring to those friendships. And when some move on from you, bless the friendship, bless the friend and be thankful your paths crossed!
INTERESTING FACTS ABOUT FRIENDSHIPS
Social Isolation in America reports that in the last 30 years, we’ve all gone from having 3 close friends to having 0-1.
In the past 25 years, numerous scientific studies have shown that friendships slash your risk of mortality in half, double your chances of recovering from depression, make you 4.2 times less likely to succumb to the common cold.
The average person will form 396 personal friendships during their lifetime. “Of that 396, only 33 of those friendships will actually last (1 in 12). Of that 33, only five of these people are considered to be a close friend and the rest are usually categorized as social friendships.”
Another study showed when children hang out with their friends during a stressful situation, they produce less cortisol, a hormone released when the body is under stress.
Did you know best friends often times have similar DNA? According to a study conducted by Yale University and the University of California at San Diego, “good friends are often genetically similar and share as much as one percent of the same gene variants. To put that into perspective, your best friend genetically is in comparison of a fourth cousin.”
My courageous friend, if you’re struggling in the friendship department, consider joining a small group at a church, going to a local recreation meet up for your community, taking a community class, joining a group that has similar likes (travel, theater, cooking, book club) or perhaps just striking up a conversation with a stranger at your local coffee shop.
CHEERS TO YOUR FRIENDSHIPS!!!